As we’ve discovered in previous installments, women want to meet attractive men during the day. Since many men don’t approach women during the day, you can make a very strong impression if you can be the guy who does.
But what makes a good approach and how do we make the best impact possible? There are a variety of components that make up a good approach and you can certainly approach it in a way that doesn’t exhibit the qualities we want.
If you end up looking like you want something from a woman, chances are you won’t make a good impression. Instead, we want to approach a woman in a very natural way, without coming across as wanting something from a woman and not exuding confidence while doing so
A good way, beyond being confident and taking that risk, involves the following.
GOOD POSTURE
You want to stand up straight and do a good neutral posture. This means that standing at a basic level means you want your feet to be shoulder width facing forward, back straight, spine in a neutral position with no leaning back or forth and no forward slouch from the shoulders. Shoulders back, head should be in place with the spine, not tilted up or down.
Look at the picture below as an example, you want to be like the middle pose.
If your posture is bad, it can take a lot of work to correct it. Years of bad habits have trained our bodies for poor movement and posture and it will take a lot of conscious effort and possibly some physical work to do correctly.
One thing I recommend to all my students who are in bad shape is to get into the gym and work out smart, often best with a good personal trainer. In addition, visiting a chiropractor will greatly benefit almost everyone. When I combined chiropractic care with personal training, my body posture completely changed! Not only that but you’ll feel great.
Slow and deliberate movement
Confident guys don’t tend to be fast, nervous, or jerky. Instead, they are quiet, smooth, and their movements are slow and deliberate. One trick we often teach to help guys with this is to imagine you are walking through water. That’s the resistance and speed of movement you should aim for. Make sure all your movements are deliberate and purposeful. There has to be a reason and a purpose behind everything you do. Take your time and don’t rush the pace. Try to understand what you’re doing with your body. Often times we have various nervous movements that we do from time to time. Being aware of these is the first step you can eliminate. You can then begin to consciously understand them and make a conscious effort to cut them out over time. Again, this is not a quick process so be patient and over time you will cut through any nervous movements.
VOICE TONALITY AND SPEED
Like body movements, slow, deliberate speech is a sign of confidence. Guys who talk too fast often signal that people will stay and not trust them to hear what they have to say, so they rush out words where being able to speak slowly and measured makes it safe to be interrupted or unheard as a guy and shows a lot of confidence. Making sure to speak out loud also shows people your confidence. Speaking too calmly doesn’t show much confidence in what you’re saying so make sure you’re heard at all times and don’t be afraid of others hearing you Lastly you want to get some vocal range in your voice. They don’t just listen to what you say, they listen to what you say. So if you give a filler, say it in a way that shows you mean it…there is no monotone!
Eye contact
This is great and that almost every student I work with needs improvement. It was also one of my biggest stumbling blocks when I was learning how to be more attractive to women. Improving this one nonverbal communication will literally change your life. Eye contact is that powerful! Most people are not comfortable with eye contact. Making eye contact with people can be uncomfortable at first; It feels very scary and exposing. Eye contact is important because it makes women feel comfortable and connected to you. Being able to make eye contact with people is a great sign of confidence and will dramatically improve all areas of your life, not just with women.
There are more, but these are great starting points, things to focus on initially as you learn to meet women on the day
These non-verbal elements are exactly what you want to keep in mind when approaching a woman during the day. You want to approach her confidently with good posture while making eye contact and then deliver a good amount of what you have to say at a nice slow and measured pace.
So we have nonverbal elements but what about the verbal element? I advocate a direct approach to your meeting.
